Four years

Today marks four years since we first learned of our little boy’s existence.

We opened our the email and saw this handsome face:

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His special need was not one that we had requested, nor did we know much about it. We were immediately drawn to this beautiful boy’s face but it did take us some time to accept his referral. We needed to hear from our pediatrician at the adoption clinic and we needed to do some soul-searching about what we were prepared to take on as parents.

The strange thing about adoption is that you have a choice. If this little boy had been born to us, there would have been no choice: he would have been ours with no hesitation. I am sure we would have struggled emotionally and logistically with his health issues but at least we would have known he was meant to be ours. However, with adoption, it’s not always so clear. Was this boy ours? Were we his? If we proceeded with the adoption, was it the “right” choice?

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I won’t lie and say that the answer was immediately “yes”. We struggled for some time with whether we made the right choice. We struggled with attachment (from both sides), stress from un-anticipated surgeries and regular sibling drama. During that first year in particular, I was often over-wrought. Some parents who adopt say that it was clearly God’s plan that they adopt a particular child but I didn’t feel that. I just didn’t know.

But thankfully, with the passage of time, the sharing of hugs, smiles, cuddles, experiences and minds, this question began to fade. We grew to know this boy well and he us. Four years later, there is no question anymore and there hasn’t been for a long, long time.

This boy is ours. We are his.

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Not just legally, but meant-to-be.

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  • YAY! Congrats. We sure love that funny handsome boy as well.ReplyCancel

  • Rae

    We love you Ren! xxooReplyCancel

  • Love this post! Sometimes it takes time and it isn't all magical! But I am so glad that over time it has become clear that he is yours! He is adorable and you are an amazing mother!ReplyCancel

  • It certainly is clear that he is yours and you are his… forever.

    His eyes are amazing – and I know this sounds weird, but he really does look like himself! 🙂

    Sometimes we go through a lot as adoptive parents, and we have to put a lot of work into making a relationship what it is, but isn't the result amazing? A few weeks, months or years down the road, we can't even begin to imagine it any other way.

    Love to you all on 4 years together.


  • Auntie Marlene

    What a beautiful and honest post. Thank you for sharing. And it is clear how lucky you all are for having each other! xo From Auntie Marlene.ReplyCancel

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